ONE MORE CHANCE

Mrs. Leyla was a woman nearing her sixties. Each passing day felt like a number being erased from her lifetime. Especially after her husband’s death, this feeling had grown even deeper.

Today, however, was the day her son and daughter-in-law were visiting. And of course, the day she would see her grandson, Enes…

Leyla would wait eagerly for their arrival, saying, “I can’t blame the kids, they only have the weekends,” and she would carefully prepare the things they loved. As always, her potato börek and carrot-walnut cake would be on the table, ready and waiting.

She never felt lonely, but ever since her husband passed away, her eyes had always been on the door. Her son and daughter-in-law knew this well, so they never skipped or delayed their visits.

Talking with them, listening to what they had experienced during the week, was a great joy for Mrs. Leyla. And talking with her grandson Enes… that was something else entirely. Every word the little boy said made her smile and drift into deep thoughts.

But today, something was different about Enes. He wasn’t his usual cheerful self. After hugging him and gently stroking his head, he looked straight into his grandmother’s eyes and asked:

“Grandmaaa… Is life always this hard?”

“My dear, what happened? Why do you say that?”

“I’m just asking… Is life always this hard?”

I smiled…

“Sometimes, my lamb… sometimes.”

“Well, did you feel this way when you were my age?”

“Yes.”

“So how did you deal with it? Or with the wisdom you have now, what would you tell your younger self at my age?”

It was clear he was troubled and wanted to complain. But how could Enes know that he had stepped right onto the biggest regret of his grandmother’s life?

Hearing his question, Leyla looked at the green-framed mirror on the wall and drifted back into the past…

One day, her husband had brought her a small gift after work, and when he excitedly handed it to her, he was met with harsh treatment:

“What is this, Hüseyin? You know I like the color blue,” she had said, breaking his heart deeply.

With the regret of that memory, Mrs. Leyla said:

“You know, my dear… my whole life passed with complaining. Don’t you ever become like me, alright?”

Enes looked at his grandmother. Seeing the sadness in her voice and on her face, he realized what complaining can turn a person into. With both curiosity and surprise, he asked:

“Why did you say that, grandma?”

“Look, my dear. You see that mirror over there? Your grandfather bought it for me as a gift. After work one day, thinking I might like it, he brought it home with excitement. But I ruined his excitement and his joy and turned up my nose at the gift. And not only that—I spent the whole day complaining about how he could buy something green. Your grandfather was so upset, he didn’t even know what to do. If you asked me now…

‘I wish I hadn’t done that. I wish I had smiled. I wish I had made my husband—who tried to make me happy—happy in return.’

But in the moment, people let their emotions take over and act ungratefully.”

“And now, even if I wanted to, I can’t… My dear child… I never made him smile. I always complained about everything.

Back then, I was working. When I got home tired from work, I couldn’t see anything clearly and would start complaining:

Why is my job so exhausting?
Why do I have to handle everything?
Why can’t I be the queen of my home like wealthy women?
Why is this house so small? Why don’t our belongings even fit?

Then we moved to a bigger house, and this time:
‘This house is too big. How will I clean it?’

So as you can see, my dear, not once did I say to your grandfather or anyone around me, ‘I am happy.’”

“So what did grandpa do, grandma? Didn’t he get angry? Didn’t he complain too?”

“Oh, no… When your grandfather realized he couldn’t deal with it, he found refuge outside the house… One day at the coffeehouse, one day at the park, one day at the seaside, another day in the forest… He stopped spending time with me. And he was right… Who would want to stay next to someone so unhappy, so grumpy, someone who complains about everything?”

In time, I understood:
Complaining is the greatest repellent in a person.

So if I were given one more chance, without thinking twice, I would choose to be “Someone Who Brings Joy and Does Not Complain.”

And to the Leyla who was your age, I would say:

“In life, the solution to every problem is not complaining, but looking at it from different angles. And if you’re really angry at that moment, ask for help from someone you trust, and listen quietly to their experiences. Just like you’re doing now, my dear…”

Even if you feel like crying—be someone who can bring a smile.
Even if you’re tired—be someone who gives energy.
Even if you’re sad—be someone who brings joy.
And even if you don’t like something—without complaining, say:

“Whether it’s green or blue, what difference does it make?”

Be the reason for the smiles of everyone who looks at you, my dear…

Because the greatest treasure in life is being able to make someone happy. And the first step toward that is being able to make them smile.

And you know… smiling is charity.

“Aaa, that’s such a beautiful thing, grandma… It’s so easy and the most free kind of charity… Then I’ll give charity all the time—I’ll smile and make others smile too!”

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Experiential Design Teaching is a knowledge community that produces strategies for designing our future based on past experiences.

The "Who is Who", "Mastery in Relationships" and "Success Psychology" Seminar Programs offer the needed methods for those who want to be happy and successful in life by solving their problems and achieving their goals.

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Yahya Hamurcu