Seagull

                                              

Ali’s eyes were lost in the view of the opposite shore in the reddish light of the sunset. Deep blue waves were hitting to one shore and the other. He did not care about the rough sound of the foamy sea. Until the whistle of a ferry brought him back to his senses… He jumped for a moment. He inhaled the smell of the city that filled his nose. He was overwhelmed.

Neither what he had experienced fit into him nor did he fit into this city. He watched the opposite shore for a long time. He was on the rocks and did not notice his wet shoes. He was about to drown in his thoughts. He did not know whether it was the heat that suffocated himor the rejections he had received. For a moment he felt like throwing himself into the sea. “Yes, maybe I can get rid of it. This pain will end. I can’t stand it anymore…” he said hopelessly.

The responses he could not get from his job applications were about to discourage him. He wanted to make a living and live his adulthood. He had worked in other places after graduating from university. He had not been able to find a job for a while. He wanted to save up to marry the girl he loved and to appear strong in front of her, but for some reason life never gave him the result he wanted.

“You are incompetent. Who would give you a job? Are you an experienced employee to deserve that salary? If there is no job, there is no girl for you. Oh Ali! What will I do with you?” he was eating himself up. Someone was talking inside, but he couldn’t tell if it was him or someone else. Hadn’t it always been like this? Whatever he had suffered, he had suffered from whispers that were not his own. It was as if someone was passing subtitles and he couldn’t stop. He was trying very hard to suppress it, and as long as he couldn’t react correctly to the events happening to him, that voice was overpowering him.

While he was in the timeless flow of his thoughts, a seagull landed next to him. It first opened its snow-white wings wide and then closed them softly. He took a few steps waddling. He raised his head and opened his beak. “Here it is going to start again! Now it won’t stop, oh... You never give me any peace,” he rebelled. The seagull started to crow so loud that he realized he couldn’t stand it.

Just as he was about to get up, he noticed the wound on the seagull’s wing. The redness of the blood had spread defiantly across its white feathers. It was a big wound too. His anger gave way to astonishment. How was it that he could still flap his wing? Wasn’t it hurting while flying? His two cubs were standing behind him, obviously waiting for food. How was he going to feed them? Wouldn’t his wound hurt if he tried to dive into the sea and find fish?

While his mind was overflowing with questions, something was shaking in his pocket. His phone was ringing, he noticed the insistence much later. He opened it without taking his eyes off the seagull. It was his friend Ömer, who was a few years older than him. He was a conscious person. He always called when he needed it.

“Where are you, dude? How many times have I called!”

“I didn’t hear you, brother, I’m sorry.”

“Are you sure? How did you hear this one?”

“I don’t know, I was lost in thought…”

“What’s wrong? Ahh, I got it. The tone of your voice gave you away. There is no positive answer yet, right? Listen to me carefully. First, come to your senses. I know you, you are lost in thought again. Don’t you dare drown in your negative thoughts. It is not the end of the world. How do you know that no’s will not turn into yes’es somewhere else?”

 

“Life is not about only one perspective.”

Whatever he said last took him to other realms of his consciousness… Ömer’s voice in his ear and the image of the seagull next to him began to merge. It did not give up on feeding itselfand its chicks. It was looking for food with its head stuck out in the rocks. When it could not find it, it went among the garbage piles. That was not enough, it went down to the bottom of the rocks and kept dipping its beak into the water. There was no fish or anything around. There was only a seagull struggling despite the pain in his soul…

When Ali was silent for a while,

“Shhh… Dude, make some noise. Are you with me?” Ömer said.

“Well, yes brother… So what should I do?”

“Go find someone who is in need. Ask how he is. Maybe he needs a smile. Who doesn’t find sincerity good? Are you the only one who needs it in this life? Feed the animals. Put a bowl of water in front of them. What if they have babies? Or caress the head of an orphan. Call a relative or friend you haven’t called in a long time…”

“You’re right, brother…”

“Don’t run away from the pain. Keep trying. Focus on the reasons, not the results. Do what you have to do. Let the weather be too hot, go and do your application. Climb the hill, let the sweat run down your back. Life talks to people through cause and effect. You too adapt to it by talking through cause and effect.”

“Okay, brother, bye…” Ali tried to smile. Why was he looking at life from such a narrow perspective? Ömer continued: “Whenever you feel like giving up, remember this:

“Don’t eliminate yourself before life eliminates you.”

That last sentence was enough to rekindle the ember that was about to die. Omer had blown towards Ali’s the joy of life. Really? Why would a person give up when life hadn't given up on him? He was still young. What real reason had been left without results in this life? When he started to think, he regained his consciousness.

"Thank you brother. It's a good thing you exist..."

"It's a good thing you exist. We need each other. Come on man, we can communicate."

Ali realized that he was smiling as he put the phone that had been turned off into his pocket. He straightened his shoulders. Then he wondered about the seagull. He couldn’t believe his eyes. A cat was sharing its meat with him. They were standing side by side, eating pieces of meat. Then it was taking small pieces with its beak and taking them to its babies. How they were chirping.

The seagull had been offered. And from an unexpected place. No living creature was left without a result, it seemed… As long as he kept trying… He gave up on the idea of ​​jumping into the sea. He felt like getting down to business. He would continue to create his reasons. But first he had to get that wound on its wing treated. Once he finished his feast, he would try to catch the seagull.

While he was waiting, his eyes returned to where they started. He took a deep breath and looked at the opposite shore again. The wing sounds of the seagulls, which are native to the sea, were adding harmony to the smell of seaweed filling his nose.

The sun had set, but hope was rising on the other side.