The crowded bus pulled up to the stop. In the crowd, a mother tightly held her daughter's hand to avoid losing her. Ignoring the fact that the bus was already full, she thought, "Thank goodness it came... we didn't really have to wait long," and boarded. She stood close to a pole she could hold onto, leaning against it to keep her daughter from falling. She found her balance as the bus started moving.
The parent was on their way to a house near her daughter's school for cleaning duties three times a week. After finishing work, she would pick up her child from school and return home. The distance between school and home wasn't too far, but walking in cold weather was challenging.
A man boarding the bus caught her attention. Beads of sweat were on his forehead. He seemed restless, as if he couldn't stand still. The mother wondered if he was unwell, having a heart attack, or something else. Then, the man began speaking loudly: "What's going on, my friend? Don't wait so much at the stop! It's already packed inside; why are you still waiting? Step on it."
The man was giving advice to the driver from a distance, above, and shouting. The woman felt embarrassed, as if she had done something wrong. She thought about the people waiting in the cold at the stop. Yes, it was busier than usual this evening, but the stops were still full. How could those people get home if the bus didn't stop? She continued watching the man. Could he really be in such a hurry? The man still couldn't stand still, as if he was in a rush to get some fresh air.
As the bus approached the next stop, the man pushed through the crowd to reach the door. "Move, what are you waiting for? Someone's getting off!" he exclaimed, addressing an older lady standing there. The lady said nothing. Another man warned him, "Is there a place to move? Approach the door on time." The man, irritated, muttered as he moved towards the door.
The woman thought that he might feel relieved once he was in the open air. Finally, as the bus opened its doors, the man threw himself outside. The woman sighed in relief. As the bus waited for new passengers to board, the woman looked out of the window. She could still see the man clearly. He kicked the leg of the bench at the stop, then pushed through the people at the stop, ranting at pedestrians and cars as he disappeared into the street.
When the man disappeared from view, the woman felt a sense of relief. She had felt suffocated in the short time spent on the bus. What if such a person were in her life? Did this man have a mother, father, maybe a wife and children? What were they doing, she wondered? Then she felt a twinge in her heart. What about the man himself? How could he tolerate himself in this life?
First and foremost, how had this man reached this condition? People increase or decrease their resilience to events they encounter based on their reactions. What is our initial reaction when we face an event? Do we immediately get angry when trying something for the first time and not getting results? Do we reinforce this behavior and make it a style? Or do we try to complete the task with patience?
She felt grateful for her current situation once again. She squeezed her child's hand. "Come on, sweetheart, we're about to reach our stop. Let's get close to the door." She called to those near the door, "Could you please press the button? Someone is getting off!"
Although the world comes with perfect observation and decision-making mechanisms, human choices lead them down a path of increasing impatience each time. The time it takes for a fruit seed to turn into a sapling, a tree... A bird to hatch from an egg... A baby to start crawling... A wound to heal... Every event holds a time within it. Whether we rush or not, a baby doesn't walk or talk before its time, a fruit doesn't ripen before its time.
Life demands us to adapt to time, to be patient. However, instead of being patient, we try to endure. A whole lifetime does not pass with endurance, says the Experiential Design Teaching.
Knowing why, to what extent, and how long to endure is essential for a person to be happier and more successful than their past. The Experiential Design Teaching provides these measures we need in human relationships.
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